I was never as obsessed as i am now until that one day. The first time i loved and lost, my whole world changed and music suddenly became so much more incorporated into my life and was one of the main things in my life. My perspective, my taste, everything having to do with music changed to me. As i recall this memory i promise that i’ll get sad and a little depressed because it’s definitely a tough subject.
I was 11 during the summer of ’07 and my dad, stepmom and i flew up to Vancouver, Canada for a friend’s wedding. It was to be held in the backyard of the groom’s parents which was a spectacular italian home with gorgeous redwood trees and very spacious. The DJ arrived soon after we did. He was an older man with gray hair and i noticed that he was with a younger boy. The first time i saw him i had run around the house several times chasing one of the toddlers trying to get him to eat a spoonful of something. I eventually lost my breath in the process and stopped chasing after the small child who was laughing at the fact that i didn’t have as much energy and he did.
As i sat on the brick step leading to the outdoor villa, i saw him. His back was turned to me but he had brown flippy hair (the style Zac Efron had in the first High School Musical except maybe a little longer), a baggy black sweatshirt on, regular jeans, and purple DC sneakers with purple shoelaces. I thought they were pretty cool. He turned and i saw that he had perfect feautures. Brown eyes, the perfect pigment of skin between pale and tan, and he was a little bit taller than I. Everything changed at that moment. Something just hit me. This sounds extremely corny, but i realized that for an unexplainable reason i just fell head over heels in love with him. You may say this sounds superficial, but it was so much more than that.
My dad’s friend Larry also came up for the wedding and i noticed that he was talking to this boy. I had told my stepmom that i thought he was really cute and she suggested i go over and talk to him. At the time i didn’t know what the hell i was doing around boys, which means i had no idea how to approach a boy! I gathered up the miniscule amount of courage i had a stumbled over my feet as i walked towards Larry and this mystery guy. They were both playing electric guitars that he had brought down.
My heart raced and i blushed as i approached them. “Hey Larry,” i said. ” Having fun being a child again?” Larry didn’t hear what i said because he had headphones on and i can tell because he just smiled at me. The boy smiled and laughed at me too. He offered his hand to me. “Hi i’m Chandler.” We shook hands and i smiled back. “Hannah. Nice to meet you Chandler.” At this point i’m sure my face must have lit up like a light on a christmas tree.
Within a couple of minutes, i learned that he was from Saskatoon, he played guitar in a band, the DJ at the wedding was his uncle, originally had blonde hair until he recently dyed it, his nickname is Sunshine, and his favorite band was Nirvana. The music started playing so loudly that i though my eardrums were going to shatter. He covered my ears as a sarcastically shocked look appeared on his face. We both laughed. Over the skullcrushing music, i screamed “I REALLY LIKE YOUR SHOES!” He screamed back “WHAT?!” I laughed and told him not to worry about it. At that moment Larry decided to chime in and suggested Chandler and I dance. Oh no. Red cheeks. Extremely red cheeks. They were relieved as i saw his cheeks were just as red as i’m sure mine were. Thankfully, the song ended a couple seconds after we both protested. We looked at each other in relief. The rest seems like a blur. I remember sitting down at the dinner table as the sun went down and we were throwing water bottles at each other which definitely isn’t wedding etiquette.
The groom’s father had two big dogs that i knew wouldn’t harm a fly, but no precautions were taken seeing as though there would be toddlers and babies running around the whole day. Parents of children are paranoid. Don’t blame ‘em. Chandler and i went behind a storage shed to see the dogs because there wasn’t really anything else to do after our water bottle war was shut down. It was dark back there and we could hardly see a thing. We opened the gate to the dogs and he was a little bit ahead of me and i hear him scream. My heart stopped, i thought something was wrong. He starts laughing. A sigh of relief. He pushes me out of the kennel into the light and lifts up the bottom of his perfect purple shoes. On the bottom is some brown matter that smells horrific. I look up at him as my face scrunches from the stench. He runs over to a tree and scrapes his shoe on the trunk as i collapse onto all fours on the dirty forest ground in laughter. He limped back over to me and we were both laughing our hardest.
Being an italian wedding, there was lots and lots and LOTS of liquor. My dad kind of goes crazy with alcohol, though he won’t admit it. He had too much and he saunters over to me and Chandler smelling of booze. Great. Just what i need. He slams his hand down on Chandler’s shoulder so maintain balance and breathes into his face. “You keep an eye on my daughter, ya hear?” I slapped my hand to my forehead in embarrassment. Calmly, Chandler replies “Yes sir, you got it.” After my dad stumbled off he gently laid his hand on my shoulder and smiled reassuringly. “Don’t worry about it.”
We walked back to the area where we were supposed to be and i sat down at the table as i pressed the palms of my hands to my eyes and rested my elbows on my knees. I looked up 2 minutes later and saw Chandler who was bombarded by several men ranging between 6’0″ and 7’1″ in a circle around him as he, 5’9″ stood in the middle of them. I knew he could handle himself. That conversation lasted about five minutes and he walked in my direction afterwards. I smiled at him but he kept his eyes down and walked right by me. He didn’t talk to me for the rest of the night.
After the wedding ceremony all the women were sitting around an outdoor fire, myself included. It was around 11 o’clock and Chandler came over and said goodbye to all of us. He looked at every woman in the circle except me. I got up and walked the short distance back to the porch with him. He still refused to look at me. I helped him load the equipment back into him and his uncle’s car. He shook my hand and said “goodbye.” They drove down the driveway and out the gate, leaving me standing in the middle of the road as tears filled my eyes. As soon as he turned the corner onto the main drag i knew i would never see him again and that was the part that hurt the most.
We left about an hour later and i listened to my ipod the whole way home. I would not talk to my dad until we came home 2 days later. I started 7th grade 3 days after the incident. That was the hardest part of my life i’d had to face to date. It took me a very long time to get over and it still hurts to talk about, but not as much as it used to. I’ve found other people who make me happy but he will always be the first boy i ever truely loved. When i came home he was the only thing on my mind. Nothing else. This was when the music i listen to know caught my attention. Music seemed to be the only way to take away the pain. That and another way. Ever since then, music has always been my vice and has gotten me through any hardships i’ve had to face. I guess that’s why i’m protective over my bands.
Before the concert, which my stepmom Ellen and her friend Karine took us to, we dipped cubes of bread in melted cheese at the Matterhorn, YUM! I accidentally knocked a wine glass off of the table with my elbow and the employees were very very pissed. After that concert Gabby and I both made a vow to each other that whenever Boys Like Girls came to the city we would HAVE to go see them and get backstage passes, even if we became sick of them and didn’t like them as much anymore.
